lundi, mai 16, 2011
Hurt you baby one more time: A dating anthropology
Just because I don't believe that I am a candidate for a relationship doesn't mean that I am totally giving up on dating sites.
After all, they provide a helpful window on guys my age. And women, of course, but I'm not interested in dating women.
I can go back to studying guys, perhaps counseling them, and generally keeping out of trauma range. Actually, I'd never really experienced complete disorientation before. Maybe there's some upside to pain and doubt that I haven't mined yet.
I'm waiting to find out.
Perhaps it's best to stick to the tried and true -- guys in the fringes. Ignore the usual suspects: men who like to go to flea markets, call lifting a beer by the couch a workout, and recapture their youth on Harleys.
They aren't my "type," but they have normal potential.
I want to know more about the eccentrics. But only if they make contact with me, first. I've avoiding the co-Cupid who viewed me last week -- his tag was something like: IamDoMInant.
Well, you can walk your cowboy boots all over someone else's back, sweetie.
A guy wrote me a month or so ago. From what I could figure out, he was a businessman who had a decent job, literate, and smart. Only one problem. He wanted a dominant woman. Apparently, from what he said "God had made him that way."
This presents me with a theological question that I will leave to a higher pay grade. Suffice to say that while I have the black shirt, and the high-heeled boots, I don't have the attitude.
Then there are the married guys -- they get frightened off when I make it clear that lying and cheating aren't my first gifts. Nonetheless, I've had some fascinating conversations with men on the hetero lowdown.
The one who sticks out in my mind was a swinger in York, PA. His game was trying to seduce me -- but who wants to have sex in hotel bathrooms?
Mine was getting as much info as possible out of him for a potential article I was doing.
Suffice it to say that neither of us came away completely satisfied - but I think I had the edge.
Sadder (because he truly struggled with his behavior) was the social service man who frequented massage parlors. I didn't spend much time talking to him. I hope he got the help he needed.
See where I'm going? There is no possibility that I'm going to be emotionally involved with anyone of these men-- yes, I'm JUST that bright. But I am learning much about the hidden side of human nature.
Along the way, there are confused, sad and struggling men that I have counseled about their marriages or children -- but that isn't dating, and it's not a way to meet guys.
That being said, I'm not looking to meet eligible guys. I'm looking for distraction, and perhaps some continuing education.
I'm pretty sure I know where to find it.