samedi, septembre 01, 2007

PS to Craig tale

Well, Larry Craig is no longer serving as a US Senator.

And apparently some gay rights groups think this is once again a good time to talk about how harmful the closet is, and how discrimination can compel some guys to have anonymous sex
in public or private spots.

But I'm guessing that ain't the whole story. Lots of hetero's love having sex in places like cars, restaurants, airplanes, and forests. I've even heard of hetero folks who like having sex in men's rooms.

Although it is true many gays still suffer discrimination, I don't think that we can blame sex in men's rooms on the closet. Heterosexual, homosexual, many men and women enjoy the spice of almost being found out in a compromising position.

Larry Craig's tale is farcical, tragric and devastating enough (just look at the photos of him with wife and daughter at the press conference) without using it as a means of seeming to justify a practice which makes moms like me, for instances, queasy each time we let our sons use a public restroom.

vendredi, août 31, 2007

Casting stones

I don't know anything about Senator Larry Craig but what I've been reading in the papers in the past two weeks or so.

Republican. Conservative. Anti-gay marriage. Says he isn't gay. Pled guilty to a misdemeanour after being caught in a sting for soliciting sex in a men's room.

Craig says he wished he hadn't pled guilty. But he's going to resign-which will please many of his Republican brothers.

The whole Craig melodrama is horribly sad.

Mostly, of course, my sympathy lies with Senator Craig's wife.

What can she be feeling?

I'm really tired of closeted, or barely closeted gay men like NJ's Jim MGreevey (if that's what Senator Craig is, and the jury is still out) ripping apart the fabric of a family life with bad behavior.

On another level, if Senator Craig turns out to be gay, so what? If it had been alright to be openly gay and a Republican back when he was thinking about political office, maybe he wouldn't have gotten married.

Or maybe she doesn't mind if/that he is gay.

Who the heck knows? But one thing is sure-the Republicans are part of a very dysfunctional family right now. And the fact that they turned on Craig, but let Louisiana's David Vitter* off the hook without having to give up so much as a committee assigment, is the height of hypocrisy.

*Whose name appeared on the records of an operation police describe as a prostitution ring-Vitter said he was repentant for an unspecified "sin"-his wife, who had earlier been critical of Hillary Clinton for her decision to stay wed to Bill Clinton, backed him up.

It is strange, even for this skeptic, to watch a party seem to implode-but maybe this is, as in the housing market, a midcourse correction. There is certainly a lot of "ick factor"-but it isn't nice to allegedly store almost 100,000 in y0ur freezer, either, like Representative William Jefferson, is it?

mercredi, août 29, 2007

Would I? Could I? Should I?

Colin was sick for more than a week-we found out, about a week into it, that he had pneumonia. The nights he spent in my bed after the coughing woke him up probably contributed to my own immunocomprised state. Then Sian picked up something, resulting in high fever and a cough. So I took us both to the doctor this morning. He said that she probably has a virus-no sign of the chest problems, but we should keep an eye out. I have a sinus infection.

Meanwhile, the Ex takes off for a day at the US Open and an evening with an old New York friend.

I don't bitch about my ex-husband, and I'm not going to begin now. But I was thinking, as I mowed my lawn, because there wasn't anyone else that could, that it sure would have been nice to have another person to drive for groceries and buy medicine and...mow the lawn when I felt so horrible.

Then I thought about three married couples with whom I have spent time recently. I'm fond of all, of them, individually. But the sniping that went on between them made me wonder if they ever talked to, not at, one another. Then I wondered if I'd been like this, when I was married. Why can't I remember?

Not all of my married couple friends are like this-they don't pick and nag and prick. And I don't suppose fear of it would keep me out of a relationship. But it sure looks nasty to the one sitting across the table. If we all had to view tapes of ourselves taking out our petty or huge resentments on the folks we love the most, perhaps we'd choose to find ways to change our behavior.

lundi, août 27, 2007

Life doesn't always imitate art

As you know, if you've been keeping up with my 'blog, I'm pursuing a topic that I find interesting from a psychological, sociosexual, sign of the times point of view-polyamory. Most of the polys with whom I have spoken, at least on a superficial level, sound as sane as many of the monogamous couples I've chatted with. Grounded, smart, curious.

Not to mention, oy vey, some (not all, fellows) of the single guys (and guys who claim they are single) with whom I chat online.

The fact that I posted a few articles on polys on my website should not be construed as either an endorsement of the particular POV (though I do like Alan's writing) OR some hint that I'm going poly).

That being said, I chuckled when, as I was wrestling with the problem of how to post these links to Alan's provocative posts, I got a "wink" from a 58 year old "Golfer11111" (not his real tag, but close).

My mind quickly sped from polyamory to swinging. A GOLFER? What was he thinking? I guess I'll check him out...I wonder if what he thinks of when he plans a foursome?

I asked one guy I chatted with what he thought of when I mentioned a threesome, and he said he just wondered what had happened to the fourth golfer. This is not a good sign. But I think this has more to do with my silly contempt for golf than it does with any inclination towards swinging. On the other hand, golfers love swinging clubs, so they might surprise me!

OK, OK, I'll stop. For now.

Quote from Mr. C as he starts school today

"I'm not ready for the summer to be over yet, Mom, but I'm going to take it like a man."

dimanche, août 26, 2007

You will have less time doing things for them, people would tell me when the kids were younger, but more time to worry.

What I've found as Sian moves towards adolescence is that I have to factor something else into my morning routine on weekends-the dress inspection. Yesterday she had me buy her something at TJ Maxx that she said was a dress, and that I insisted was a shirt. As soon as she came out of her room on our way to church, I knew I was correct. Whatever they called it, an article of clothing that only came down about three inches below her backside was a shirt.

"Put on some leggings" I told her, saying black tights would not do-after all, this wasn't the sixties! After putting up a little protest, she went gamely back into her room for pants. Then she disappeared into the bathroom for about two hours (well, it seemed like two hours).

After she emerged, looking wonderfully and classically glam, not at all like your average 'tween poptart, she told me she wasn't wearing any make-up. The more she talked the more suspicious I got. But I couldn't see anything obvious, and we were late for church.

Tonight my 'tween took left her lovely clothes on the floor of her room, put her bathing suit on, and inflated our new pool. Although she left it a quarter full of water, and a trail of popcorn for the denizens of the night, I was still thrilled to see my little girl emerge, exuberant and free, playing Pied Piper on the front lawn with the neighborhood children.