I'm sure you, gentle readers, have noticed that I'm blogging furiously. That's in part because I'm between school sessions and have time. It's also because I've been trying, without letting it all show, to work out some pretty profound questions about my own ability to hang on to what is true. If I had to give a general summary, it would come down to the Jackson Browne line : "maybe what I was seeing wasn't what was happening at all."
That is a bizarre feeling -- one that dizzies someone who makes a living trying to give other people the facts in as unbiased a way as possible. And that's all I can say at the moment.
I'm not very good at sharing my problems with others -- and this time has been no exception. I'm very much an introvert, but one with a public face.
Only a few friends are aware of the real situation -- but they have been fantastic. One of them has been a blessing who has come into my life unexpectedly -- and has given me, as I asked, not what I wanted to hear, but a perspective that is realistic and helpful.
I'll find new strength. I won't be as self-centered. Maybe I can be of use to some of my other friends.
Another, coming from a very different place, has given me help organizing my life -- which takes mental and emotional energy that is hard to come by right now.
Still another has not only listened to my woes, but found me new work -- work which will help me get my mind off my sadness. Work that takes me in a direction, a more secular direction, that I've long wanted to go.
To them, I say: thank you. Thank you for helping me. Thank you for letting me use my gifts. Thank you for strengthening me in my weakness.
You know who you are. I hope you remember how much it means to me that you were, and are there, in your own special ways.
Merci, merci, merci beaucoup.
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