I see Ed Rendell, the popular but big-mouthed governor of our state, has caused a bit of a stir with his comment about the SINGLE Governor of Arizona. Janet Napolitano, nominated to join Obama's Cabinet, apparently has "no life" according to Rendell.
Check out NYT opinion writer Gail Collins on unmarried folks with no lives. You have to ask yourself then, as she does -- why are they so busy?
I'm honored that the best selling author Dr. Bella DePaulo and well known singles advocate has linked to my brief comments on her blog at Psychology Today. I've added a couple (ha) of my own to follow up on her insightful remarks on that website.
jeudi, décembre 04, 2008
mercredi, décembre 03, 2008
Another mom from hell
Who wouldn't like to see Lori Drew jailed for a few decades?
Drew was the mother who created a fictitious boy, "Josh Evans" to torment her fragile 13 year old neighbor, Megan Meier, on MySpace. A former friend of her daughter's, the girl hung herself after someone linked to Drew wrote her 'the world would be better off without you."
Sometimes I fantasize about whether I could, as a priest, visit people who had killed, or contributed to the death of a child.
I'd have a difficult time acting pastoral with Drew. I'd want to slap her around first -- guess I'd have to get past that, huh? From what I've seen and read, she strikes me as a reckless, petty, stupid woman. But should she have been tried for cyber-bullying?
In a recent piece in Slate Emily Bazelon argues that the conviction was a case of overreaching on the part of a Los Angeles D.A. --Missouri had already determined there was no crime. But is there a way of constructing a narrow statute for bullies when "the only weapon they wield is words?," asks Bazelon.
There might be a circle in hell for them, but I'm not sure whether there should be a prison cell. What do you think?
Drew was the mother who created a fictitious boy, "Josh Evans" to torment her fragile 13 year old neighbor, Megan Meier, on MySpace. A former friend of her daughter's, the girl hung herself after someone linked to Drew wrote her 'the world would be better off without you."
Sometimes I fantasize about whether I could, as a priest, visit people who had killed, or contributed to the death of a child.
I'd have a difficult time acting pastoral with Drew. I'd want to slap her around first -- guess I'd have to get past that, huh? From what I've seen and read, she strikes me as a reckless, petty, stupid woman. But should she have been tried for cyber-bullying?
In a recent piece in Slate Emily Bazelon argues that the conviction was a case of overreaching on the part of a Los Angeles D.A. --Missouri had already determined there was no crime. But is there a way of constructing a narrow statute for bullies when "the only weapon they wield is words?," asks Bazelon.
There might be a circle in hell for them, but I'm not sure whether there should be a prison cell. What do you think?
mardi, décembre 02, 2008
Foxhole populist
If I have a political vice, it ain't populism.
But I have to say these few paragraphs from today's NYT infuriated me.
OK, I know that markets are complex, and that there is no one cause for a phenomenon. But you have to admit that global markets have shown a certain lemming pattern over the past months. And yes, not every financial institution at the top was guilty of bundling bad mortgages, crafting shoddy derivatives, and all the other garbage that Merrill Lynch, Freddie Mac and others participated in.
But a hell of a lot of our biggest financial institutions apparently did. And for them to refuse to work out a way to individualize lending so that consumers with good credit and stable jobs (still the majority in this country) get loans is lazy, shiftless, and stupid. It was easy enough for them to play roulette with our money. Why is it so tough to work out a way to get the economy they helped trash rolling again?
"The yield on 30-year Treasuries declined 0.23 percentage points, to 3.21 percent, and briefly touched a record low of 3.18 percent. The yield on 10-year Treasuries fell 0.19 percentage points, to 2.73 percent.
In normal times, those kinds of yields would automatically mean lower interest rates on mortgages, automobile loans and other forms of consumer debt. But the credit markets have been stalled by continued fears among financial institutions about who can be trusted for even short-term transactions, so the effects on home loans and other purposes could remain modest."
But I have to say these few paragraphs from today's NYT infuriated me.
OK, I know that markets are complex, and that there is no one cause for a phenomenon. But you have to admit that global markets have shown a certain lemming pattern over the past months. And yes, not every financial institution at the top was guilty of bundling bad mortgages, crafting shoddy derivatives, and all the other garbage that Merrill Lynch, Freddie Mac and others participated in.
But a hell of a lot of our biggest financial institutions apparently did. And for them to refuse to work out a way to individualize lending so that consumers with good credit and stable jobs (still the majority in this country) get loans is lazy, shiftless, and stupid. It was easy enough for them to play roulette with our money. Why is it so tough to work out a way to get the economy they helped trash rolling again?
"The yield on 30-year Treasuries declined 0.23 percentage points, to 3.21 percent, and briefly touched a record low of 3.18 percent. The yield on 10-year Treasuries fell 0.19 percentage points, to 2.73 percent.
In normal times, those kinds of yields would automatically mean lower interest rates on mortgages, automobile loans and other forms of consumer debt. But the credit markets have been stalled by continued fears among financial institutions about who can be trusted for even short-term transactions, so the effects on home loans and other purposes could remain modest."
lundi, décembre 01, 2008
The space between
I just wrote a friend something I really didn't want to say -- that not having a lot of time ruled out some deep friendships. While I accept that in theory, I have a tough time with it in the real world.
When it comes to dating, I am amazed when guys online contact me from West Virginia or even Baltimore. If they have children, what kind of custody arrangements allow them to consider a long distance relationship? Of course, if they are guys who only see their kids once every two weeks, they probably are not someone who would find me appealing or vice versa.
Pragmatic, calendar-tethered, down to earth --motherhood conforms even the most starry eyed wonderer. So I get the timestrain which consumes many of us.
That being said, I've come to realize what I knew as a single woman -- that my married female friends don't place the same priority on maintaining a friendship as I do. I can understand it, and even try to make peace with it, but it saddens me.
I have childless women friends, but they are career women. Instead of being occupied with children, they have a lively social calendar focused on business dinners with their husbands or arts patronage.
I'm brought back to wondering what's important -- and what does what we value say about us? I don't have an answer, just questions. I know I miss gossip, laughing, bitching affectionately about guys...stuff women "get" that you have to explain to men.
If I stumble into a relationship, will I make my girlfriends last on the list? Man, I hope not. I know I need them in my life. Hopefully they need me, too.
When it comes to dating, I am amazed when guys online contact me from West Virginia or even Baltimore. If they have children, what kind of custody arrangements allow them to consider a long distance relationship? Of course, if they are guys who only see their kids once every two weeks, they probably are not someone who would find me appealing or vice versa.
Pragmatic, calendar-tethered, down to earth --motherhood conforms even the most starry eyed wonderer. So I get the timestrain which consumes many of us.
That being said, I've come to realize what I knew as a single woman -- that my married female friends don't place the same priority on maintaining a friendship as I do. I can understand it, and even try to make peace with it, but it saddens me.
I have childless women friends, but they are career women. Instead of being occupied with children, they have a lively social calendar focused on business dinners with their husbands or arts patronage.
I'm brought back to wondering what's important -- and what does what we value say about us? I don't have an answer, just questions. I know I miss gossip, laughing, bitching affectionately about guys...stuff women "get" that you have to explain to men.
If I stumble into a relationship, will I make my girlfriends last on the list? Man, I hope not. I know I need them in my life. Hopefully they need me, too.
Channeling history
I'm not often up this late, but a cough that goes with...'flu/bronchitis/a cold is keeping me up here at the computer. Our red cat, Precious, sleeps on the sofa. Cats just seem to adapt to circumstances. When I'm feeling kind, the two of them, Inky and Presh, find a space near my feet -- sometimes they forget they aren't supposed to like one another and curl up together.
Last night I met the ex and some others at Cheeburger Cheeburger. Mr. C's Cub Scout troop had gone to a panto at People's Light Theatre. He was taking the DQ for the night, and I was picking up Mr. C.
The kids went to one table -- excepting Mr. C. He said he wanted to sit at our table so he could talk about the economy. But no one wants to talk about the economy, said his dad with a grin.
Given that I was starting to feel worse and worse, I played a small part in the conversation. And when Mr. C asked me tonight about Napoleon and Hitler (who may be the first and second Antichrist, say some Nostradamus experts) I wasn't a whole lot of help.
Was Napoleon French? Did he come from Corsica? Or was he exiled to Corsica?
Darned if I could recall. So I let Mr. C take over my computer and look up something that had been baffling him -- a timelines of the Iraq war. At which point I said, education's over for the night -- time to get to bed.
Last night I met the ex and some others at Cheeburger Cheeburger. Mr. C's Cub Scout troop had gone to a panto at People's Light Theatre. He was taking the DQ for the night, and I was picking up Mr. C.
The kids went to one table -- excepting Mr. C. He said he wanted to sit at our table so he could talk about the economy. But no one wants to talk about the economy, said his dad with a grin.
Given that I was starting to feel worse and worse, I played a small part in the conversation. And when Mr. C asked me tonight about Napoleon and Hitler (who may be the first and second Antichrist, say some Nostradamus experts) I wasn't a whole lot of help.
Was Napoleon French? Did he come from Corsica? Or was he exiled to Corsica?
Darned if I could recall. So I let Mr. C take over my computer and look up something that had been baffling him -- a timelines of the Iraq war. At which point I said, education's over for the night -- time to get to bed.
samedi, novembre 29, 2008
A sultan speaks
One hundred years ago, a story titled "Dying of Consumption" would most likely be about tuberculosis or other lung diseases.
We've done pretty well in making TB and a lot of those other contagious diseases very rare in the U.S.
But when it comes to our personal spending, it appeared as though the virus was slowly killing us.
So argues Steven S. Roach, chair of Morgan Stanley Asia.
As much as this recession hurts, it has finally compelled many Americans to cut back on spending -- which is a very good thing, he says.
Here are a few of the scary stats he cites:
As a share of disposable income, the personal saving rate fell from 5.7 percent in early 1995 to nearly zero from 2005 to 2007.
According to Federal Reserve calculations, net equity extractions from United States homes rose from about 3 percent of disposable personal income in 2000 to nearly 9 percent in 2006.
...As a result, household debt hit a record 133 percent of disposable personal income by the end of 2007 — an enormous leap from average debt loads of 90 percent just a decade earlier.
What does he recommend? No more tax cuts for now. Spending on infrastructure. Mandatory or incentive-driven savings. No tax increases associated with these mandatory savings.
I must confess that I was surprised to see Mr. Roach's byline -- I don't usually think of Morgan Stanley chairs as leading a rush to fiscal reform.
Given that today's progressive ideas can often become tomorrow's orthodoxy, it will be fascinating to see whether the new adminstration is listening.
We've done pretty well in making TB and a lot of those other contagious diseases very rare in the U.S.
But when it comes to our personal spending, it appeared as though the virus was slowly killing us.
So argues Steven S. Roach, chair of Morgan Stanley Asia.
As much as this recession hurts, it has finally compelled many Americans to cut back on spending -- which is a very good thing, he says.
Here are a few of the scary stats he cites:
As a share of disposable income, the personal saving rate fell from 5.7 percent in early 1995 to nearly zero from 2005 to 2007.
According to Federal Reserve calculations, net equity extractions from United States homes rose from about 3 percent of disposable personal income in 2000 to nearly 9 percent in 2006.
...As a result, household debt hit a record 133 percent of disposable personal income by the end of 2007 — an enormous leap from average debt loads of 90 percent just a decade earlier.
What does he recommend? No more tax cuts for now. Spending on infrastructure. Mandatory or incentive-driven savings. No tax increases associated with these mandatory savings.
I must confess that I was surprised to see Mr. Roach's byline -- I don't usually think of Morgan Stanley chairs as leading a rush to fiscal reform.
Given that today's progressive ideas can often become tomorrow's orthodoxy, it will be fascinating to see whether the new adminstration is listening.
lundi, novembre 24, 2008
Alex the gray parrot
There's a good reason the anti-abortion centers (crisis pregnancy centers is the term used by the movement) show women ultrasounds of the fetus. Once you can see that, at a fairly early stage of life, the fetus has a human form, it's much harder to get rid of it.
We don't eat cats and dogs, having developed relationships with them. I don't know if they still do so in China, but it is so beyond my ability to imagine that it seems almost impossible.
I'm thinking of giving Dr. Pepperberg's "Alex and Me" to some friends for Christmas this year.
Alex was the grey parrot that the doctor bought at a store and who became in some way her friend.
Here's a few paragraphs from the review in today's Times :
“Alex, the African gray parrot who was smarter than the average U.S. president, has died at the relatively tender age of 31,” read an obituary in The Guardian of London. “He could count to six, identify colors, understand concepts such as bigger and smaller and had a vocabulary of 150 words. To his supporters he was proof that the phrase ‘birdbrain’ should be expunged from the dictionary.”
As his owner and colleague, Dr. Pepperberg, writes in her charming new book, “Alex & Me,” the parrot she bought in a Chicago pet store in 1977 would help open a new window on the capacity of birds and other animals to think and communicate. "
See the review, linked above, to learn more about the bird who taught Dr. Pepperberg a lot about communication, and perhaps something about love.
Scary, isn't it? Communication can often usher in affection, and sometimes love. Then you take a look at some of the things you used to do without thinking-- and ask yourself whether you really want to do them anymore.
There's not one answer. But darn it, we need to at least do our some of animal companions the honor of trying to understand them...understanding us -- perhaps more than we know.
We don't eat cats and dogs, having developed relationships with them. I don't know if they still do so in China, but it is so beyond my ability to imagine that it seems almost impossible.
I'm thinking of giving Dr. Pepperberg's "Alex and Me" to some friends for Christmas this year.
Alex was the grey parrot that the doctor bought at a store and who became in some way her friend.
Here's a few paragraphs from the review in today's Times :
“Alex, the African gray parrot who was smarter than the average U.S. president, has died at the relatively tender age of 31,” read an obituary in The Guardian of London. “He could count to six, identify colors, understand concepts such as bigger and smaller and had a vocabulary of 150 words. To his supporters he was proof that the phrase ‘birdbrain’ should be expunged from the dictionary.”
As his owner and colleague, Dr. Pepperberg, writes in her charming new book, “Alex & Me,” the parrot she bought in a Chicago pet store in 1977 would help open a new window on the capacity of birds and other animals to think and communicate. "
See the review, linked above, to learn more about the bird who taught Dr. Pepperberg a lot about communication, and perhaps something about love.
Scary, isn't it? Communication can often usher in affection, and sometimes love. Then you take a look at some of the things you used to do without thinking-- and ask yourself whether you really want to do them anymore.
There's not one answer. But darn it, we need to at least do our some of animal companions the honor of trying to understand them...understanding us -- perhaps more than we know.
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