Like Them

We are in the neighborhood I sometimes proudly term "the working-class area of Glenmoore." Caveat-that's more of a term of convenience than a term of art.



Most of the people I know on the two blocks of our neighborhood are middle class-but we are surrounded by unseemly affluence-to which my daughter Sian aspires. Every time we go to one of those boxy million dollar homes, and I say acidly that they all look alike, my lovely child says she'd love to live in one.



But here we are in our three bedroom ranch house-tiny enough to fit into the downstairs living room of one of Sian's classmates.



When I first looked at this house, the wife of the couple who owned it was mowing the front lawn with a push mower (an old push mower). Dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, sweaty in the hot sun, she gave the refreshing sense of someone who didn't have the luxury of dressing up for potential buyers, or paying someone else to do the household chores.



When I bought the house, I realized fast that my two graduate degrees wouldn't mow the lawn for me. I also found that I actually enjoyed carving lines or circles (as it were) on my lawn-it's great for getting me out of that heady space I spend some much time in... but I could still maintain my aura of academic distance.



My neighbor on one side liked it when there were just a few houses-she'd like to move to Wyoming. My neighbors on the other side are sweet folks with two dogs who rarely seem to socialize but have a camper parked in their driveway-I wonder where they go. I only just met the elderly lady down the block-a retired teacher, I discovered. We are awash with interesting characters.



A few days ago one of the area kids came by looking for my son. I stopped the mower long enough to tell him that his buddy wouldn't be back for a day or so. As he cycled away I had a thought-dressed in running shorts and a top, dripping in the dusky humidity, hair pushed back with earphones, I had become....like them.

Still, I can't see myself with an RV, a tractor or a rifle. After all, you can't get a man with a gun. No unless you go farther West.

Ain't that the truth!

"I think there is no suffering greater than what is caused by the doubts of those who want to believe,” wrote Flannery O’Connor, the Roman Catholic author whose stories traverse the landscape of 20th-century unbelief. “What people don’t realize is how much religion costs. They think faith is a big electric blanket, when of course it is the cross. It is much harder to believe than not to believe.”

Adventurer

Acraphobia? Whatever the word for folks who fear heights, I've got it. I don't like driving much above 65-and rock-climbing just doesn't appeal to me.

In other words, when it comes to physical bravery, I'm not going to be the person you want to follow.

Although I'm a wuss when it comes to risking life and limb, I am an admirer of those who are willing to bend boundaries in the spirit of adventure.

That's why I felt sad when I heard that Steve Fossett, the wealthy aviator, had disappeared. In the old days, it was people like him who sailed to countries unknown, traded with their peoples, brought back knowledge, foods, science.

Happy was the adventurer who found wealthy benefactors.

Now the folks who used to send explorers out to find other peoples enjoy going out themselves. It's nice that Fossett is wealthy enough to do what he likes to do. It would be nice if others had the chances Fossett has-but then, do you want 100's of guys trying to break the sound barrier on land?

He has, at the least, been a fascinating man to observe-his adventures entertain those of us who love to read about those who have the money and time to do things we can't fit into our less thrilling lives. But I think he is more-a man who, along the way, reveals that we are often capable of doing more than we humans think we can. In the process, he teaches us a lot about how to be brave about using our imaginations, even if they take us to whiteboards in classrooms, or to planners at our offices, or to dinner with our kids.

So what makes them different?

"As lawmakers return to Washington with Democrats set to hold a marathon series of hearings on the Iraq war, Mr. Mahoney and other moderates are trying to find a balance between criticizing the Bush administration and supporting the troops, between helping the Democratic leadership keep pressure on the White House over the war, and addressing constituents’ demands on issues closer to home.
Only one Democrat, Representative Brian Baird of Washington, has publicly reversed his position during the current recess to support the president’s strategy. The switch, made after a trip to Iraq last month, infuriated many of his constituents; several hundred spent four hours castigating him at a public forum. His switch also prompted attack advertisements against him by MoveOn.org, a group that opposes the war. " NYT Sept 3, 2007

Down, boys!
Are former insurgent groups like MoveOn.org going to turn on dissenting voices and try to SwiftBoat them?
I have been an opponent of this terrible war from before Day One. It's no credit to me or to anyone else who saw though Bush's phony reasons for going in-it just magnifies the sadness at the toll of innocent slaughter. President Bush has run our country like a dictatorship, as have many Congressional Republicans.
That being said, I believe in the ideal of a democratic America, in which answers come out of debate, not out of attacks on conflicting vies.
Democrats have found themselves at a disadvantage, again and again, for not having one ideology or a party discipline. But having capos, or enforcers, use the tools of the opposition brings them down to the same level as their opponents.
If his constituents really think Baird switched for crass political reasons, OK. We know those who still assert we ought to be in Iraq will try to find a way to make them into advertisements. But if Rep. Baird saw possible progress in Iraq that made him think we ought to stay, then, darn it, he's entitled to an opinion...and a voice.

PS to Craig tale

Well, Larry Craig is no longer serving as a US Senator.

And apparently some gay rights groups think this is once again a good time to talk about how harmful the closet is, and how discrimination can compel some guys to have anonymous sex
in public or private spots.

But I'm guessing that ain't the whole story. Lots of hetero's love having sex in places like cars, restaurants, airplanes, and forests. I've even heard of hetero folks who like having sex in men's rooms.

Although it is true many gays still suffer discrimination, I don't think that we can blame sex in men's rooms on the closet. Heterosexual, homosexual, many men and women enjoy the spice of almost being found out in a compromising position.

Larry Craig's tale is farcical, tragric and devastating enough (just look at the photos of him with wife and daughter at the press conference) without using it as a means of seeming to justify a practice which makes moms like me, for instances, queasy each time we let our sons use a public restroom.

Casting stones

I don't know anything about Senator Larry Craig but what I've been reading in the papers in the past two weeks or so.

Republican. Conservative. Anti-gay marriage. Says he isn't gay. Pled guilty to a misdemeanour after being caught in a sting for soliciting sex in a men's room.

Craig says he wished he hadn't pled guilty. But he's going to resign-which will please many of his Republican brothers.

The whole Craig melodrama is horribly sad.

Mostly, of course, my sympathy lies with Senator Craig's wife.

What can she be feeling?

I'm really tired of closeted, or barely closeted gay men like NJ's Jim MGreevey (if that's what Senator Craig is, and the jury is still out) ripping apart the fabric of a family life with bad behavior.

On another level, if Senator Craig turns out to be gay, so what? If it had been alright to be openly gay and a Republican back when he was thinking about political office, maybe he wouldn't have gotten married.

Or maybe she doesn't mind if/that he is gay.

Who the heck knows? But one thing is sure-the Republicans are part of a very dysfunctional family right now. And the fact that they turned on Craig, but let Louisiana's David Vitter* off the hook without having to give up so much as a committee assigment, is the height of hypocrisy.

*Whose name appeared on the records of an operation police describe as a prostitution ring-Vitter said he was repentant for an unspecified "sin"-his wife, who had earlier been critical of Hillary Clinton for her decision to stay wed to Bill Clinton, backed him up.

It is strange, even for this skeptic, to watch a party seem to implode-but maybe this is, as in the housing market, a midcourse correction. There is certainly a lot of "ick factor"-but it isn't nice to allegedly store almost 100,000 in y0ur freezer, either, like Representative William Jefferson, is it?

Would I? Could I? Should I?

Colin was sick for more than a week-we found out, about a week into it, that he had pneumonia. The nights he spent in my bed after the coughing woke him up probably contributed to my own immunocomprised state. Then Sian picked up something, resulting in high fever and a cough. So I took us both to the doctor this morning. He said that she probably has a virus-no sign of the chest problems, but we should keep an eye out. I have a sinus infection.

Meanwhile, the Ex takes off for a day at the US Open and an evening with an old New York friend.

I don't bitch about my ex-husband, and I'm not going to begin now. But I was thinking, as I mowed my lawn, because there wasn't anyone else that could, that it sure would have been nice to have another person to drive for groceries and buy medicine and...mow the lawn when I felt so horrible.

Then I thought about three married couples with whom I have spent time recently. I'm fond of all, of them, individually. But the sniping that went on between them made me wonder if they ever talked to, not at, one another. Then I wondered if I'd been like this, when I was married. Why can't I remember?

Not all of my married couple friends are like this-they don't pick and nag and prick. And I don't suppose fear of it would keep me out of a relationship. But it sure looks nasty to the one sitting across the table. If we all had to view tapes of ourselves taking out our petty or huge resentments on the folks we love the most, perhaps we'd choose to find ways to change our behavior.