Old-fashioned

Tonight I was tired.

We'd been entertaining, which I don't do as often as I'd like to do, because it requires being organized, cleaning up, and cooking.

SLACKER, I can hear you whispering.

Fact is, none of these are my first gift. But it was a really nice party.  So it pays for me to bestir myself now and again.

Be that as it may, the couch, a book, and the pellet stove called me.  Thus I didn't protest too much when I watched my daughter entertain what Tennessee Williams might have termed a "gentleman caller" while texting friends on her iPhone.

Normally I'd say something sharp to her.  Tonight, I just called it to her attention.

He didn't seem to mind too much. But he might have expected something a little closer to civilized discourse.

At times like this, I hate technological innovations like cell phones. (Of course, there are many times when I use them promiscuously, but we're not talking about THOSE moments).

It bothers me when guys I've never met think I'm the cat's pajamas on the basis of a few well-chosen words -- or when dialogue with potential dates or friends is interrupted.

Someone is randomly pissed off.

Maybe they are just having a bad day.

One of us gets snarky, and bam...a relationship is imperiled.

I think it's because so much of the social pillars that once upheld relationships are either weakened or don't exist anymore.

The church social.

The ladies' sewing circle. (Though I'd have to sit outside the circle and watch).

Time spent side by side doing chores on the farm.

A dependable calendar of events shared by a community, ones in which people saw each other over and over again.

Of course, these all have their downsides.   If you didn't belong to the church, you weren't included.  Men sew, too.  Farm chores could be dangerous.  Most of us haven't lived agricultural lives for more than a century.

Maybe such a predictable social life was also bit tedious -- but it reinforced social norms that don't seem to exist as much anymore.

I watch my daughter struggle.

Wonder as potential dates fall by the wayside.

Hope and pray that something dumb I spouted online didn't wreck a friendship.

And I wonder how we can move forward in a way that builds communities and relationships, rather than putting them at risk.

To be so hidden -- and so exposed...isn't healthy.