mercredi, octobre 12, 2011

Better than sex? the tearful follow-up

A few hours after I posted my rather frank examination of the lack of intimacy in my life (see above), a former parishioner commented on my link.

First of all, he's a wonderful person, and I adore him.

He's also a person who isn't happy when a "lady" speaks of sex in a public forum. He "worries" about me, sometimes, he says.

His well-meant comment has prompted all kinds of soul-searching on my part, not to mention a few tears.

As a blogger who is also ordained, I occupy a strange space. Sometimes self-revelation is a risk.

I have standards, but they aren't necessarily shared by all of my fellow faithful (how could they be?). We look at moral issues differently, and there are many shades of debate on some of these topics.

Was it inappropriate for me to own up to desiring sexual/emotional/intellectual intimacy in my life?

More pointedly, was it inappropriate to do so in my blog?

To link it to my Facebook page?

I don't have an answer. But I do know that it's part of what has driven me further and further from parish life.

My independence and desire for candor is a double-edged sword.

And so, I have no place to lay my head, metaphorically speaking -- neither conservative nor liberal, chaste by conviction or emotionally promiscuous, atheist or traditionalist.

But this is where I stand.

By choice.

And, today, a little sad.

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