dimanche, avril 25, 2010

A Sunday confession

I am a moralist.

And, worse, I am an unpredictable moralist -- because I actually am pretty tolerant in some ways.

I can listen to tales of group sex, polyamory, creative weed consumption or other alternative behavior without a quaver of judgement in my voice. Though I haven't gone down those particular roads, I can see how one would end treading that rabbit trail.

If I don't get "it" I will ask you to explain.

Why are you, at this moment in your journey, living in a commune with a biker dude and an officer of the law?

How many marriages?

So what was it like to share that jail cell?

I also figure that your life has got to be much more interesting than mine! Maybe I could find out some new ideas, or even get up the bravery to try something I haven't done before.

I know something about compassion and empathy -- and have perhaps more than my share of gutsiness.

Oh, there is a lot that frightens me -- like driving on turnpikes, handling snakes, losing my ability to be run and cycle and sweat it out.

But my innate willingness to dig deep, to do the highwire act can be a problem.

It can make me too forceful, too ready to pass judgment when I deal with other people's tender feelings.

It's ok to have weak moments -- it's even ok to lie to yourself now and again. It's ok not to be "there" yet...none of us have arrived. Its fine to be confused about your feelings.

So I confess -- sometimes, and I'm not proud of this, I do not understand or empathize with your compromised life -- yet I might be way too comfortable with my own.

Anyway, if you have been the victim of my gimlet eye and razor tongue, I apologize for those times when I have been harsh -- or wickedly facile.

Please forgive me -- and call me on it if I do it again.

But I don't like making my confession alone...

Do you have traits that you would like to change? Times when you shoot off your mouth or email and then would give a lot to take it back? How would you do things different if you could?

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