lundi, septembre 07, 2009

Hall of Mirrors

It is not fun when someone rips you to shreds, even if it's done efficiently and coldly in virtual reality.

According to this acquaintance, I'm a woman who puts various folks in "baskets" based on their potential usefulness to me.

Of course, on one level, it meant absolutely nothing -- the person hadn't met me more than once. OR maybe it meant that I had hurt their feelings, and they were lashing out at me the only way they knew how. Or perhaps it meant I had narrowly avoided becoming friends with someone with a cruel streak.

After I got the email this morning, I sat at the computer, feeling nauseated. So they didn't truly know me. Yet I had to ask myself if perhaps there was not a tiny truth somewhere in the spite. The truth that I've become jaded and quick to protect myself in the face of potential complexity or rejection. The truth that I'm stressed and tired by drama at home, and don't have a lot to give my friends right now.

Having said all of that, I'm not sure that any of it is completely accurate. Surprised to have evoked that kind of personal attack from a person I had seen as thoughtful and gentle, I asked myself: would I have launched poisoned arrows like that if someone had hurt my pride?

God help me, I hope not.

Aucun commentaire: