dimanche, janvier 21, 2007

My sometimes suspect taste in men...or...why not that sweet guy in sales?

"My story is much too sad to be told
Practically everything leaves me totally cold
The only exception I know is the case...
When I'm out on a quiet spree, fighting vainly the old ennui,
And I suddenly turn and see...your fabulous face ....

Some get their kicks from cocaine
I'm sure that if I took even one sniff
It would bore me terrifically too
Yet I get a kick out of you..."

Cole Porter "I get a Kick Out of You"

Maybe I should just blame it on the effect of a steady diet of the suave, brilliant Mr. Porter when I was a kid. Not that he always, at least reportedly, made the happiest choices. But growing up with his music on the piano stand and the stereo may have spoiled me for reasonable, stable, play-it-safe guys for life. Possibly it's because almost nobody on my mother's side of the family made the conventional choice if something or somebody more eccentric was available.

A newly single mom, I've recently started dating again. In the process of casting guys as potential "Mr. Maybe's" I've learned something a bit unsettling about myself. If they were casting for Ms. Sensible, I'd at least have a shot at being "runner-up." But given the chance to seek fellows who stick to the straight and narrow or guys who like to live on that thin line between creative and crazy, I'm pretty predictable. I go for the ones who likes dancing on the edge of the cliff.

Are you right on track with your life's master plan? Telling me you can't wait to get to the Jersey Shore every summer? You say you dream of retiring to Florida...ASAP? We clearly are not a match. But if you came close to flunking out of Harvard, inhaled (doesn't matter what) your way through graduate school, learned French from your mistress, the bosses' wife...hey, babe, I'm all ears. When can we get together to, uh...chat about Proust and savor madeleines?

Put my back to the wall and I'd have to say that stable guys are a much better bet for a long-term relationship. Aren't those the fellows we depend on when something goes wrong? If I didn't know some strong and able men who can fix a leak, show me how to use my lawn mower, or notice I've got a flat tire, I'd be a basket case.

But its the other ones who stir me up in all kinds of interesting ways-forcing me to think hard, take risks, and generally play outside my comfort zone. I pay the price, though. Hurt feelings, a badly bruised ego, and general incredulity that they weren't willing to give up the pot, or the right-wing politics, or the mistress for me. Then there are those long nights chockfull of tears and deliciously baroque torture fantasies I wish I could share with you.

But, at the moment, I won't...perhaps I can't? have it any other way.

How about you, guys and gals? Are you like me, always singing that Cole Porter classic:

"Why can't you behave? Oh why, can't you behave?".... and loving it when they don't?

"What's the use of wond'ring
If he's good or if he's bad,
Or if you like the way he wears his hat?
Oh, what's the use of wond'ring
If he's good or if he's bad?
He's your feller and you love him,That's all there is to that.
Common sense may tell you That the ending will be sad,
And now's the time to break and run away.
But what's the use of wond'ring
If the ending will be sad?
He's your feller and you love him,There's nothing more to say.
Something made him the way that he is,
Whether he's false or true,
And something gave him the things that are his,
One of those things is you, so
When he wants your kisses,You will give them to the lad,
And anywhere he leads you, you will walk.
And anytime he needs you,You'll go running there like mad.
You're his girl and he's your feller,And all the rest is talk.

Rodgers and Hammerstein, What's the Use of Wonderin' , Carousel

1 commentaire:

ch9099 a dit…
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