lundi, février 27, 2012
The one that got away
Perhaps it's living with two teenagers.
Or maybe it's simply exhaustion from being a spectator as many men emerge from long-term marriages and work their way through relationships, leaving a mess of unsolved issues in their wake.
I listen, but I don't always understand.
I have come to realize that the human mind is powerfully irrational, and that oftentimes, we are the grip of emotional forces that can wreak havoc with our lives.
Some guys cheat, because they've been the victims of a cheater.
Some shut down their feelings, and indulge in sexual experimentation.
Others turn off their minds, and find solace in the arms of females who demand nothing from them.
Was I ever that naive? Was I ever that blind?
Stubborn -- I can understand that emotion. Deluded -- well, perhaps. Possibly, I should be more patient with that glassy-eyed stare when I see it on the faces of some of the men I meet.
Is all of this acting out normative, or is it just that the men I'm running into are particularly crippled by their past experiences?
I do know that when you come across the "real thing," it is foolish to ditch it for a fantasy -- unless, for some reason, you aren't strong enough to cope with the reality.
That whole idea (that some of us might not be tough enough to cope with a multi-dimensional relationship) is, frankly, abhorrent to me.
Wake up and smell the coffee, darling, I want to shout. You can't really enjoy your life if it's only experienced in two dimensions.
But that's not for me to say -- or for me to control.
Tough enough for me to get a grip on my own emotions -- and to find a way to move forward.
Perhaps being "stuck" will help me to develop more empathy for those who find themselves on an endless emotional rollercoaster.
But there are times, many, when I wish that I had turned a blind eye, or a deaf ear, to pity.