lundi, février 15, 2010

The courage to heal

This subject seems to me to be a natural transition from the post about personas -- but you can figure that one out for yourself.

For more years than I can recall I ran on adrenaline. Fueled by sugar, exercise, and emotion (not drama) I dissected, lingered, questioned.

Such introspection did produce anxiety. But I could handle it, because it also drove a lot of creativity.

Well, now the price is becoming a little high. I remind myself that white-knuckling the steering wheel when some moron gets too close to the rear window doesn't help my blood pressure. Plummeting blood sugar from too many Peeps (I kid you not) can lead to larger problems. And maybe physical therapy wouldn't be so neccesary if I didn't keep pushing the envelope -- running when maybe I should walk ,shoveling snow when I have a guy with a tractor down the road, lifting the lawnmower (don't ask).

When I saw a doctor recently for some other back issues, he told me that I'd better stay a healthy weight, fit, and flexible. But it's the quest for all of those items that got me into your office in the first place, I wanted to tell him. Instead, I nodded.

Sunday morning a shooting pain down my left arm sent me to the E.R. -- where, after an EKG, the doctor suggested I might have a pinched neck nerve. Add that to the lower back issues, and it's...cause for a little self-assessment.

These ailments are a sign of age, to be sure, but also an opportunity to face some old problems. To slow down. To practice mindfulness. To be deliberate about getting better, one step at a time

I don't know what the old/new me will look like in the process. But I do know that the old maladaptive habits ain't working.

So now I need to find the courage, and confidence, to heal.

Have you ever been in a situation where you found that your old ways of dealing with stress, of child-rearing, or dating weren't working -- and you needed to find some new ones?

How did you deal with those moments? Crisis? Opportunity?

Or both?

3 commentaires:

BigLittleWolf a dit…

Recognizing that certain (unhealthy) habits on which you have relied to get by is not the stuff of a momentary crisis or opportunity. It requires change, which more often than not is evolutionary.

Unfortunately, it is also temporary unless we are ever mindful. But for single parents, that may mean a choice between a child's needs and our own. You know which way the typical single parent will lean on that sort of issue. And thus, we find ourselves perpetually looking to stay the course for our own health.

It's a daily struggle, and I doubt (for me) that it will be anything else until the nest is empty.

dadshouse a dit…

Have you read Anatomy of the Spirit, by Carolyn Myss? I think you'd enjoy it. She ties body pain to blockages in various chakras, and compares the 7 chakras to the 7 sacraments (and equivalent things in other religions)

Mindfulness is a very good thing.

norman pease a dit…

If I have asked before, please forgive. Have you tried chiropractic? I would give up the shovel,lawnmower lifting, and at least for a time running, in favor of isometric exercie, walking with weights, and yoga. Yes, moments of realization that one is on the wrong path, or at least have been paying attention to the wrong things on the path, are a time for decisive action. Pay very close attention to what you do, what you eat, and your reactions, and each of these make you feel both phyically and emotionally, then make incremental changes. I hope you feel better.