lundi, novembre 09, 2009

Worth a second look

I've taken a vacation, or should I say I'm in detox, from online dating.

I'm not completely cured -- now and again I'll return to the dead version of the website. Did the guy who wanted to see me a third time, but lived almost 2 hours away ever come back? His reservations seemed to focus on the alleged lack of intelligent women online. Turn that one over, and it also seemed that women wanted a guy with lots of money, and probably no children in his life right now. Either way, he wasn't having a lot of luck online.

Nice guy. One of the very few men I met who I would have enjoyed seeing again -- an evocative, quirky blend of egghead and athlete.

And what of the West Chester businessman who appeared as ambivalent as me? Or the Route 422 techie with the alleged spouse from hell?

Now that I've signed off, and have time to take another look at my complicity, what I find most depressing is the rampant consumerism of virtual dating. Trying to sum up your strengths (when did loving golf or even dogs become a virtue?) in a few paragraphs becomes a marketing challenge -- and almost invariably leads to exaggeration, if not lying.

Eventually, you gotta start wondering what the woman or the guy is hiding. I'd be interesting in seeing a profile that came close to telling the reader what someone looked like in three-dimensions:

Something that read like this:

Do you like adventure? I've traveled far, and I've learned some interesting things along the way.

I've found that as much as I want something to work, I can't always made it just by trying. I confess that I evade and avoid sometimes, compartmentalize, make excuses. Sometimes I've tripped on that banana peel and fallen on my tush.

But I've discovered interesting things about myself that I'd like to share. I am quicker to say "I'm sorry", swifter to listen, less interested in what's down the road and more grateful for what is right now.

I am truly fascinated by, and appreciate, difference. I find pleasure in quirkiness.

Yes, various bits and bobs of my body ache sometimes when I get up in the morning. My body is slightly less taut, that six-pack a three-pack on my good days. But I've got a lot of energy, and hope and empathy -- and I'd like to find someone to share them with. I'm committed to investing some of my time and energy in helping to make this world a little better -- but I don't take myself that seriously.

Care to join me?

I've never seen a profile as direct and open as that -- nor do I think that such a guy would get a lot of responses from women.

As for me, I hope to heck that I'd answer it (having written it). I guess there's a part of us that would rather peddle dreams. But I want to use what I've learned and move forward--otherwise, what a waste of a high-end education.

1 commentaire:

norman pease a dit…

hmmm, the online dating. I guess it is good you are detoxing. I have been happier (?) ceasing my search for love. The universe (god) knows what I need and will provide. I still hope. Perahps it is I who have not been ready to accept. At any rate, I continue to save my coins and not heed the ceaseless siren calls of, who regularily send e-mails telling me I have e-mail, she could be the one...just give us 60 bucks and you can find out. Bah Humbug I say.