samedi, juin 27, 2009

Five reasons why

I am not a romantic in a way commonly understood

1. I don't believe it's a sign of a healthy relationship when lovers can finish each other's sentences.

2. I don't feel as though there's one special person for each of us

3. Love is a decision as much as, if not more so, than a feeling

4. There's probably a corollary between chivalry, passion and affluence -- who has time to brood over a lover when your family might be killed or you can't feed your kids

5. The language of most romantic cards or pop movies is the quick and dirty way of expressing emotions that demand time and care to explain -- not to mention proof.

That doesn't mean that I don't like chick flicks and happy endings as much as any other person -- I just don't believe them. Do you? Although I do have a weakness for movies and love songs in French.

How about you? Can you readers defend the Western ideal of romance?

And as if I needed affirmation of my feelings, here's an email I got last night. I'm protecting the sender's identity, although he doesn't really deserve it, except to say that I'm guessing he has material resources to fulfill not only his romantic needs but his fantasies (without help from yours truly, if you were wondering).

"Could you enjoy a 3-way romp without writing about it? I remember you as very appealing, but a writer. She and I (she who I met here) have had great sex and great openness since November and we both want to make love with another woman. I think we would both enjoy you, if you let us. We are determined to find a compatible woman who would blossom under our touch and kisses. Is it possible?"

A few emails of that ilk is enough to put a girl off romance for quite a while --- cue the moats teeeeeming with crocodiles, snakes and monks who are not what they seem...

5 commentaires:

norman pease a dit…

I've been thinking about a reply all day. Yeah, sad I know. While I do not agree with some of your points, I do concur that the commercialized version of "romance" is vastly over-rated, and for most unachievable...should one be tempted to try. While there may not be only one love of your life, I do think it is more of a feeling first....the deceiding comes later.

norman pease a dit…

Con't.. As to the e-mail, I do not see this as proof of romance being unworthy of the effort. Certainly in this case. My, you do get a good many offers:) This person was not offering romance...just seeking to satisfy his (and hers) selfish desires. Certainly, even if you had only exchanged a few e-mails, he should have realized you would not compromise his identity. To suggest it was an insult.

norman pease a dit…

con't 2. One thought did just occur..I actually hate this venue, for communication...too limited. I can't image twitter would be any better...but I digress. Your opening sentance suggests that romance is a belief, not just the portrayal of it currently. so there is hope. Romance is the precursor to love. Love is trust. love is freedom. love is slavery. love is.

norman pease a dit…

con't 3. I do not agree with chilvary ect. being tied to affluence. Perhaps we are blind to it's existance in the poor. Actually on acertain level, I think these things are more prevalient in the lower classes....more real. well, I have to find a hotel in DC ofr the night of the 4th. so I'll end.

Offcenter a dit…

I should have said the cult of chivalry. That hierarchy of needs thing.

And after numerous emails in that general tone, I do get a little, well a lot, cynical. I have now made it crystal clear in my Match profile that I'm not into menage a trois, FWB, or sex under the battlements of the Eastern State Penitentiary -- in case somebody invites me. Great stories, though.