jeudi, octobre 19, 2006
Ever so often I venture from the merely ridiculous (the political scene) to the totally mysterious (male-female relationships)...so those of you who suffer from excess of sobriety will just have to bear with me ...or skip this post and do your taxes (only 6 more months until April). Earlier this fall, those who chronicle cultural trends were busy yakking it up about a snippet of information that has recently come to light: one third of single women aged 40-60 (or was it 45-65? some number in that general vicinity) are dating guys who are at least ten years younger than they are. On the surface, this seems like good news for women above 40 (which includes myself). Without being compulsive about it ( for instance-the idea of a diet is anathema in my house) many of us try to stay in good shape, both physically and mentally. We have a right to expect the same of the guys we date (of any age). All of the chat about "cougars" (predatory older women looking for sex) misses the point-that it's about time that women had the freedom to find happiness with the right man, whatever age he is. As I said in a post a couple of months ago, I have no problems with this trend, nor of being a part of it, if I meet the right man. At the same time, I'm beginning to feel a little less naive and a bit more skeptical. Who are these guys (ten years younger or more) who have a thing for older women? Are they just looking for a good bedside manner, or for something more substantial? How young is too young? In a relationship where the woman comes with more experience and perhaps more baggage, who sets the agenda? What if the younger guy has no kids? Is he going to "get" what it's like to be a mother, with all of the responsibilities, passion and crazy love that goes with parenthood? I have no answers. I wish I did. I have the feeling that a relationship with a younger guy is like any other one: when it's right, you can make even the most tricky adjustments. It doesn't really matter whether he is young or older-its more crucial that you share similar values, eccentricities, passions, and a sense of humor. Hot mama? Sure hope I am. But, like most other women running a three ring circus called a family, working and volunteering, I'm also a babe with a lot on her mind. I'm a woman who definitely knows what she wants, and wishes to meet a guy to whom that is attractive...particularly if it happens to include a guy like him. H.M.