The sin sick soul

Call it mental disability.

Call it self-indulgence.

Maladjustment.

A really, really bad attitude.

I am exhausted by (what I call, in my tradition) the sin in our culture.

Sin to which, I am sure, I make my own peculiar contribution.

Much of it plays out on a monitor.

I'm shocked by the fact that nine year old children suffer from access to pornography at the click of a mouse.

Horrified that access to guns is so easy that thousands of people are murdered by angry men or women (mostly men) who pick one up in a hot or cold fit of fury. More appalled that within hours we  are able to become voyeurs, virtual tragedy buzzards, pecking at the ruins of someone else's life.

The Internet has also made adultery easier. I know that because I am propositioned by the lowdown guys on the lowdown.

Married men (or men whom I suspect are living with the wives) on dating sites now get the metaphorical back of my hand.  I have little patience for other people's online dilemmas with regard to married love. Grow up, damn it, I want to say to them.

If I were a counselor, of course, I would not be allowed to be that judgmental. But I am not their counselor and don't want to be their...girlfriend.

Then there is the cowardly guy who disappeared without even an apologetic email. Bad behavior, if not sanctioned, is allowed.

I know, I know. I sound cranky. It's been a trying week.

I think I might be overexposed to online bad behavior. It has a way of suppressing my natural empathy and sense of compassion -- and who is to blame for THAT but the one who allows herself to sip everyday the 24/7 cocktail of news, gossip, shopping and flirtation that can be the Internet (when it's not information you need)?

Yes, I'm aware that many people control their virtual visits -- or use the web primarily for aesthetic or educational purposes. But I'm as aware that it enables many of us to lead double lives.

How many men, for example, do you know, who are captive to online pornography? I bet it's not just one or two.

When  satiated with the stench of the carnival, I have a longing to seek out my friends in real life -- to cling like a drowning sailor to that which is authentic and true.

How will we protect our children? In some cases, it is already too late.  They inhabit a world in which temptation lingers close at hand -- as close as keyboard access to deception, rage and terror.

Can we right our course? Only if we draw our children back, again and again -- reminding them that the best moments in life are not mediated by a white screen, but occur eye to eye, face to face, broken heart to open one, in the warmth of real life.