jeudi, novembre 17, 2011
Polyamory: a (serious) reconsideration
I'm aware of the religious, ethical and practical arguments against polyamory.
I got it.
So if you are going to be shocked by what I am about to say, I advise you simply not to read this post.
Of course, that pretty much guarantees that you WILL read it.
A few years ago, a friend told me about polyamory, those who have multiple relationships or many loves.
Actually, it could just be one other love, or one other lover.
Polys are clear that it's very different from swinging, where men and women engage in sex without emotional attachment.
Jealousy is the obvious problem with that choice. I'm not sure how they manage it.
There are so many obvious reasons why this is an unsuitable lifestyle for me -- the problem is that they are mostly in my head.
My heart says something else. I'm not entirely sure what it's telling me, and I'm trying to sort it out.
There are so many things, in the romance arena, that I'm trying to sort out.
And there are so many things I know.
I'm tired, and I'm losing patience.
Patience with guys my age or older who need to date younger women to validate their masculinity.
Patience with guys who haven't dealt with their issues and riff on the same theme with a few variations.
Patience with men who won't 'fess up to having baggage.
Also, as much as I respect them, engineers and I don't share much of a common tongue.
I thought that I had endless stores of empathy - but it may be a good thing that I have a limit.
I hope this is, metaphorically speaking, a fertile period.
I know that something in me is changing.
Perhaps it's time to take some risks.
I don't know if they look like polyamory. Given my cautious personality and beliefs, I tend to doubt it.
I don't know whose face he wears....and if I did know, I wouldn't say right now.
But there's a lot about which I'm not as sure as I once was.
And guess what? That can be fun.
I'm not going to turn into a spinster....a confirmed bachelor, and likely to remain so (pace Henry Higgins).
There ARE mouths to be kissed after mouths to be fed (forgive me, Stephen Sondheim).
And I'm goin' looking for him.
Let's see if I'm girl enough for one guy. I think I have potential.