mardi, novembre 01, 2011

Meow! Hiss! Why catty is so high school

If he ever heard me say something mean, a friend once said, he'd fall over.

Maybe he's toppling right now -- but possibly for entirely the wrong reason.

Generally, I try to avoid snarkiness - except about politicians.

Members of Congress.

Doctrinaire conservatives -- actually, I'm really not nuts about doctrinaire anything, except maybe within the pages of a theology text.

I can get downright cutting when it comes to people like Jon Corzine. Whaling away at liberal hypocrisy is also a sport. I turning into Oscar?

Jon Corzine...what's he doing in post about women and cattiness?

Back to your cage.

For the past few days, I've been pondering the whole subject of female jealousy.

Fear and hurt can evoke female insecurity -- and thus, cutting comments about other women.

I don't think it's healthy.

But does it flatter a guy who is its supposed object -- or subject?

On this subject, my daughter is probably my most reliable source of observation. And from what little I can figure, possessiveness and cutting down other women doesn't seem to make boys, or guys, feel particularly valued, or special.

Or perhaps the drive for security, or to take down others to make yourself feel better may begin that way, and then start to get, well, messy.

Honestly, I don't know. All I can see is that it amps up the drama factor.

I'm capable of it -- but I can't recall having been in too many situations where I felt tempted. Oh yes, I've blurted out secrets (thankfully,these times are rare). And I've been critical, straight up directly critical, when I've felt someone is a DSM diagnosis waiting to wreak havoc.

But generally, I'll go out of my way to avoid saying nasty things about people who may matter to those who matter to me.

I believe that in some way mean actions, and words, come back to hurt you. They pop up in your path, and memory, when you least expect to see them, and cause more destruction.

Having thought about it over the past few days, I'm coming to the conclusion that it's all about the company you keep.

Compassionate, responsible, mature people with high standards for personal interactions challenge me to be my best self -- and to want to bring out the best in others.

Let's leave it at that.

Because, yanno, as much as I'd like the skin sans laugh lines and hair without a trace of grey, I don't want to play those teenage games. I'm not good at them -- and I never want to get an "A" in meow.


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