mardi, octobre 25, 2011
A walk on the (sort of) wild side
I was frustrated last night.
As I wrote a friend, I wish I knew more single guys with intestinal fortitude (a polite way of saying what I mean).
That really means courage. I wish that more men didn't fold like a paper fan when someone challenged them. I wish that they could take a position that might entail setting healthy boundaries.
I wish that there weren't so many Samson's seeking their Delilah.
And yeah, I know there are lots of things that men can say about women. Generalizations are toxic...trust me, I could write the copy.
And have written it.
All this to explain why I was in a crazy mood when I checked out my "viewed" page on a dating site.
Well, well, there was Diderot.
OK, so I wasn't being viewed by an ancient French writer. But this fellow, who was pretty good-looking, had taken the name of a renowned French skeptic from a few centuries before.
How could I not view his profile?
He's a writer -- even better. I have a soft spot for journalists, God knows why.
So what he lived in D.C.? We could have passionate meetings at a hotel near the Inner Harbor in Baltimore. We could stroll around the shops, go to the Aquarium, take in an Orioles game (well, perhaps not).
I shot him an admiring note -- but as I was signing off, I noticed that under orientation he had chosen "bisexual."
Oh dear. Too late.
When I got back on, he'd written me back. He loved my third photo, he said -- and didn't I look like a dominatrix?
Actually, this isn't the first time I've heard men say this - believe me when I say that in my pictures there are no whips or high-heeled boots in evidence.
He also said that he didn't share my faith, but did respect it.
I hate to say it, but many of the most intellectual guys I know are atheists.
That was cool, I wrote, but I couldn't wrap my mind around the bisexuality part.
He preferred women 90/10, said Monsieur Diderot. And he didn't cheat.
He thanked me for being so nonjudgmental. Then I confessed my clergy association.
Are you offended that I find that oddly sexy? he wrote back.
No, I wrote back -- I told him about my favorite hedonist, and how he had owned up to similar feelings. I guess it's the transgressive piece.
Send me a picture he wrote.
As you can imagine, I had reservations about that -- but I was also enjoying the back and forth. It made me feel a little wild -- without having to act on it.
But I did speculate...I have, as I have said to friends before, a mind that is a sometimes more than G-rated version of "All Things Considered."
Could I? Probably not. And was he being totally upfront with me? Who knows?
I signed off to prepare dinner for the children, and when I got back on again, his profile was gone -- as if it had never been.
I have to admit, that weirded me out a bit. It may indicate that he's not sure whether he belongs on a dating site for those with more vanilla taste.
Maybe he'll show up again -- and we can continue, at least, our conversation.