samedi, septembre 10, 2011

Something of a dreamer, a fool, a heartbreak

Love, and loss. Why do they seem to go together?

Right now, I'm very concerned that we are at risk of losing our way of life -- and that many of us are still slumbering.

One of my professors canceled her class on Thursday, due to the fact that the Brandywine Creek, which normally went through her front yard, was not only in her basement, but in the front rooms of her home.

Marietta, a small town where my son and I spent a happy evening in a bed and breakfast last year, has been evacuated, at least in part, due to the rising Susquehanna.

Some of us were fortunate enough not to have water in our basement, and only to face minor inconveniences.

Two nights ago, my editor in Lancaster and I chatted for a while about the increasingly bizarre weather we are having. I could hear the stress in his voice -- schools were closed, roads were flooded.

Both of us spend a lot of time reading and trying to assimilate what we read -- and we are creatures of the "mainstream" media (mostly) -- not the climate change skeptics.

On the other hand -- I was mouthing off to a friend about the changing climate, and how concerned I was that we'd left trying to do what we could to change our habits too late.

Sometimes I chat about climate change with my contractors -- we talk about it casually, and with a kind of rueful fatalism.

But when I brought it up with her, she quickly and determinedly changed the subject.

I don't know if she is a skeptic, or whether such conversation brings her down, or whether she just thinks it's a waste of energy.

And don't get me started on the complexities around tomorrow and how we mark that. I'm afraid even to speak to some of my friends.

I'm afraid that, among my friends, I'm one of the few dragging the cloud of dust behind me. As someone who prides herself on having friends on all ends of the political spectrum, I find that I can only share this with other contemplators -- most of us seem content to live our lives without a lot of reflection on some of the "big picture" conundrums.

Or we allow others (MSNBC, FOX, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal) to make up our minds for us.

Sometimes, often, I wish I wasn't so darned serious. I wish I could take it all with a big grain of salt.

Yeah, I brood about THIS, too.

When it comes to love, I sometimes wish I was a little more frivolous, too. I don't give affection (friends, lovers, family) easily, and I don't withdraw it at whim. To do, in some ways, seems to buy into the "easy come, easy go" model that our society reinforces in so many ways both clear and covert.

I wish I could be more flip, more superficial, more hardhearted and less brooding.

But then I wouldn't be "me"? Would I? "Something of a dreamer, something of a fool, something of a heartache, when she gives her heart to 'you'."

It would be easier on those I love, and those who love me back.

Grappling with questions large and small, confiding in my small circle of close friends (and you, gentle readers), I sometimes scare myself. The scrip for such humorless ideas?

More fun, more laughter, less brooding..see, there IS a bright angle to disaster.

Carpe diem, anyone? Two's company.

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