mercredi, mai 04, 2011

My disillusionment manifesto

Everyone has their gifts -- but our gifts have their shadow side.

One of my double-edged abilities is a slant towards what one old friend memorably called a "hellish honesty."

I slice through rationalizations like a butcher -- including my own.

Recognizing that sometimes even the "facts" are debatable, and we seem to have different "truths," I want to know your perspective.

I may learn something new.

I might be changed.

Pin me down? Good luck with that.

Of course, the downside of that position is taking a long time to make a choice, or stand on the side of the "angels" or be courageous when bravery is called for.

And one can become cynical. Very cynical.

Doubtful to the point where it seems like there are so many forms of "illusionment" out there that faith in human idealism (in many senses of the word) and good sense is just a waste of time.

I also realize that I, too, can be inconsistent, random, and judgmental (of those who are too judgmental or snarky, of course).

There is a profound loneliness that goes with taking a position outside the boundaries, whatever those boundaries may be.

Like the nonbelievers I have met who say that they "envy" a faith that aids believers in difficult times, I yearn for the passion to pursue a goal, even if that goal ultimately turns out to be nothing but a mirage or a compromise with reality.

I think.

But I can see equally compelling arguments against this perspective.

Let me get back to you on a few decades.


How about you? Do you suffer from illusion envy? Do you have tough times making up your mind about "big questions?" Talk, baby.

2 commentaires:

BigLittleWolf a dit…

As one who teeters between cynicism (euphemistically referred to as pragmatism, depending on the day) and... (drum roll please) "moderated optimism" - let me say that I understand the standing firm on one's capacity for not standing firm.

If you know what I mean.

We are (r)evolutionary in our honest admissions of changing perspectives, and all illusion envy aside, I think we like ourselves like this.

In a way, self-protective. But not without the ability to see what is good, what is positive, even what is possible - however elusive, rather than illusion.

A (confusing?) ramble, I realize. But let me just say that for all the low-lows, life sometimes offers great gifts and remarkable surprises.

On ne sait jamais.

(And enjoy your Mother's Day, by the way!)

Offcenter a dit…

Mais oui -- on ne sait jamais, jamais.

And happy Mom's Day to you too!