dimanche, mai 08, 2011

Do 'nice girls' finish last?

Year ago I interviewed a famous Bible scholar (really kind to me, by the way). Asked about another, more liberal and popular (at the time) scholar, he labeled the man "terminally nice."

Snarky, but clever enough for me to remember with a twisted grin every time that man's name comes up.

I'm afraid I fall into the "nice girl" category. And trust me, I 'm not saying it as a compliment to myself.

I listen to other people's woes -- and not solely when someone is paying me to do it.

I apologize to them, sometimes unnecessarily. If I hurt a friend, it can keep me up at night.

I feel their pain, often before they feel it.

But it's more what I don't do that probably separates me from another type, the femme fatale.

I don't seduce. Heck, I'm not even that good at innuendo.

Rock a strapless dress? You gotta be kidding.

Drama is something I try to avoid at all costs.

Minor temper tantrums aside, I generally prefer an even keel.

Not that I am saintly, by any means -- I can do catty. I can attempt sexy, before I lose my nerve. I know lots of feminine wiles, ways to get under a man's guard. I'm just not very good at using them, so I tend to fall back on that old standby -- nice.

And we "nice girls"? We can spot other ones a mile away. I know I can trust my "nice" girlfriends.

But I have to admit, I like to make friends with women who have a bit of a "mean streak" -- it makes for better girl's nights out.

But nice isn't exciting, is it? Nice doesn't provide those wonderful ups and downs many of us (male and female) learned to associate with romance in high school? Nice is what you want when you are living in the nursing home, not in business, or friendship, or love.

And underneath all of this self-mockery, I suppose that I accept that I don't really have a choice -- I'm just going to hope that someday a guy will come along who will appreciate steadfastness, and not be bored with it.

In the meantime, I "get" you, Taylor! Here's to all the people standing on stage as Kanye, or some other dude, grabs the mike out of their hands -- speechless, incredulous, and right out of the spotlight.

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