lundi, septembre 20, 2010

Is he blog fodder? Mourned? Or roadkill?

It's over.
I think.
In spite of some huge cultural differences, we tried to have a friendship, and it just didn't work out.
Somehow, we could not help pissing each other off -- in a big way.
He didn't believe in God anymore.
In spite of being a priest in a denomination on the front lines of liberalism, I still do.
In love with someone distant (sometimes very), he looks for "present tense" sexual relationships to help get him through the night until his future becomes more certain.
That's never been part of my gig.
Sex and God came between us.
But we had some good discussions and, I thought, some mutual respect.
After our last disagreement, I told him I thought it wasn't healthy for us to continue conversation.
After a few more back and forths, he quickly, surgically defriended me on Facebook.
Which saddened me, because although we couldn't sustain an ongoing discussion, I was still, and I am, fond of him. I want to know what happens to you, I told him - in an email to which he never responded.
Yet to move on, to define the relationship, to grapple with its symbolic importance -- I am bent towards writing about it.
Would that be a betrayal of our friendship, even a buried one?
Is it revenge for his ability to turn off his involvement and "move on" so fast?
Or does it in some respects honor our struggle against the differences that came between us?
I don't know for sure.
But I've got a few kickbutt opening sentences.

2 commentaires:

BigLittleWolf a dit…

I say let 'er rip, with your kick-butt opening sentences. All the while respecting reasonable boundaries, of course.

That very tenuous but very honorable space that some of us choose to walk, to the best of our abilities.

It's funny - the French men I've known (and loved), regardless of who ended it, have managed to maintain a friendship with me and vice versa. And I'm so glad.

Sadly, that's never been the case with an American. What's up with that?

dadshouse a dit…

The end of a relationship is a difficult time. Everyone deals with it differently. His "surgical defriending" on Facebook sounds like his way of moving on.

Should you blog about it? I'd wait. Anything you write, you might regret later. I often wait 2 weeks, or 2 months to write about things. And even then, I change identifying details. No reason for anyone to get hurt from my processing.