lundi, janvier 18, 2010

3, 2, 1...back to normalcy

It's strange, I said to someone on the phone today.

The last time I was on a dating site, I got to the point of extreme cynicism, threaded with weariness. How many appeals from swinging musicians and guys young enough to be my son can one woman handle?

But this time, I know I'm getting off the site, at least for a time, in three days (I have to track the date, or the site for true love bills me for another month).

And I feel no regrets. Life at home poses sufficient challenges to suck up a lot of my emotional energy right now.

Which is just what a few female friends told me.

I said to them, however, that when it comes to nurture, I am too prone to take up the last spot in the line.

It's not that it's now "my turn" -- cause I don't see childrearing like that, thank you very much.

And I do see that some men and women make expedient choices in the interest of spending time with a new lover.

Yet I expect that a guy I date will make his own choice with me. He will realize that my kids come first and then pursue a relationship or find someone who will make significant lifestyle changes.

I've met some nice guys, genuinely nice men, this time around. If we continue to get to know one another, it will be interesting to see what happens.

One thing I know -- there's no big blank spot in my routine, waiting to be filled. But there is room.

3 commentaires:

BigLittleWolf a dit…

This captures it perfectly:

"...there's no big blank spot in my routine, waiting to be filled. But there is room."


dadshouse a dit…

Online dating sites do not work! I gave them up years ago. I do still venture onto Craigslist to find occasional company (drinks, a hike, etc) but not for a real relationship.

Malcolm Gladwell wrote in his book "Blink" that chemistry is felt in person in the blink of an eye, not in checkboxes and prose. We cannot articulate what we truly want. We feel it in our whole bodies, in person.

I'm like you, I'm not pining desperately for someone to complete me, but I do have room in my life for a partner again.

Enjoy life. Meet people the old-fashioned way.

norman pease a dit…

I for one do not have the time ro resources to meet in the "usual" way. Online dating can work as long as you know what you are seeking, and when meeting people IRL you do not try to be someone you are not. Recently started talking to a person I met online 3 yrs. ago. It has been a very long time since first contact, with big lapses in between, but at least now we are talking regularily in person. We "seem" to work well together....and I actually mean work. The situation is not without challenge