mercredi, mars 07, 2007

Sex addiction-judgement and grace

I was thinking about writing about the cultural implications of sex addiction tonight. But my musings went in a more personal direction.

I've chatted online with a few guys that I suspect fall into the realm of the sex addict. I say this without judgment. We all have our cracked places. I'm broken in many places, and in need of human and divine healing. The problem is that often we feel ashamed to confess our flaws to each other-or we try mightly to justify them.

And when addiction hurts family members, when the addict refuses responsibility for her or his deeds, then judgment is essential.

Apparently sex addiction is a fairly widespread phenomenon. According to an article on the MSNBC website, As many (or more) than 16 million men and women in America may struggle with this behavior. Why do they seek sexual experiences ( often with strangers) with ritual repetitiveness? Why do they need to keep ramping up the thrill factor? Is this about feeling manly or womanly? Is it about self-esteem? Do some have personality disorders? Are some cross-addicted?

There are as many reasons, I guess, as there are people who suffer.

Every addict is precious in God's eyes. With grace, we can look into the eyes of the alcoholic, or the smoker, or the sugarholic (like me) or even the compulsive bragger or procrastinator and say to them that we know them, and love them, because we share their essence. We can't carry them, but we can walk alongside of them. And if we look with compassion, without judgement, we can see in their haunted eyes the shadow of God's image, and the possibility that they will finally be free to choose...if they choose to be free.

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