Say yes! Say yes! but no is o.k., too

When you are considering dating someone, a lot of things come into play.

One of them, clearly, is whether you share some common values.

Obviously, common values include everything from whether there is a God to whether the Phillies can win the World Series, whether you love living in the city to whether beer is a food group.

And the answer that, of course, is: it depends on the beer -- and whether you've just seen the value of your stock portfolio plummet.

(By the way, I just listened to a financial program on CNN and heard that brewing is one of the worst long-term investments one can make. They said nothing about drinking).

But do you want someone who is going to agree with you, most of the time? Are you seeking a partner who will bolster your point of view, and help you hang out in your comfort zone?

Are you seeking the merge lane or the challenge of parallel parking?

A lot of folks are looking for life in the comfort zone -- and there's nothing wrong with that. That's what the little checklists on dating sites are for.

I find myself meandering somewhere in the middle -- looking for a guy who will sometimes agree, sometimes question my ideas and beliefs -- even my most cherished ones.

Obviously, I'm right most of the time, so he shouldn't waste a lot of energy trying to change the basics.

But in all seriousness, I am aware, as are you, dear readers (c'mon, c'mon, admit it) that there is more that one side of a debate, more than one story to be told, more enlightenment to be found.

I want someone who admires my intelligence (as I would have to admire his), but doesn't take my word as final. I like the debate, the spark, the give-and-take. Frankly, there's something exciting, even sexy about it, if it's all in good fun. Serious debate is good, too - sometimes I'm impulsive and need to be reined in.

I'm happy to leave mindmeld to those who find tranquility and comfort in those quiet fields.

Let's go for a spin -- who knows WHERE we might end up?