So about these orgies?

Own up -- there's some part of you that would love to have been present at an orgy, whether as a spectator or as a participant.

Given the men that I spoke with while in the journalistic phase (article fodder) of online dating, I know something about swinging and sex parties. I'll share, out of concern for the common good.

But if you want the skinny, you have to talk to an orgy enthusiast.

Dominique Strauss-Kahn -- I bet he's got some amazing orgy stories.

But can you imagine going to bed with him? I don't think I could get drunk enough to make that possible.

And before you tell me that he would not be interested, men and women with sex addictions really don't care that much about age or even body type. They want satisfaction -- which lasts about a minute.

As I reflect on the whole orgy idea (c'mon, don't you ever think about them?), it seems to have several potential problems, ugly older white men being just one of them.

A few posts back, I told you about the swinger who educated me about double lives, lying, cheating -- all that good stuff.

But he did have some moral fiber left in the bottom of his cereal box.

Group sex is like a prom. The plain girls and boys get left out (and let's not talk about single guys, pariahs in the swinger communities), he said.

If you can't be equal when you are all naked, well...who needs to return to high school?

The only solution is to be stoned out of your mind. And if you have to be high to enjoy the experience, it might be better just to hop on a plane to California and hang out in Berkeley for a few days. Great atmosphere, nice people, whole foods....

Upon reflection, I'm not seeing much upside to this whole orgy idea.

I'm returning my invite.

And I hope I've talked you out of going, too.