I could return to that more innocent self. There are elements of my personality I don't like so much now--mostly the ones that involve men. When I began this dating biz, I didn't realize I'd attract that much attention. At first, I was flattered. Then I was amused. Then I was a little dismayed that so many guys would simply be trying to get me into bed with them. And now I'm coming to the conclusion, not that I am particularly hot, but that there are simply a lot of horny guys out there who, put it bluntly, just want to get laid. I'll tell you that I've gotten better at knowing who the decent, really nice ones are--they are the ones who are genuinely surprised by my online stories.
Well, dogs are going to be dogs, and some guys are just being themselves. There are all kinds of messed up females, too. That's not my problem. I'm not prey for opportunists with itches to scratch-like the guy who emailed me last night that he gave a good massage. My conundrum is trying to find a way back to being that trusting, genuine, less jaded woman that I was when I signed on to this dating site. I have a feeling that if I do bump into a guy who is genuinely decent and kind, that's the woman he's going to want to meet.
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