Glued

I used to worry that my two kids weren't going to be close. When Colin was born, Sian seemed to see him mostly as competition rather than as a younger hatchling she had to care for. The two of them have developed a joint story, a folktale, to cover this period in their lives, the years when they weren't tightly knit to each other-it is the time "when Colin threw his rattle at me", accounting for years of distance, if not hostility on Sian's part.

Colin was perpetually disappointed. He would constantly be kind and generous to her-and couldn't figure out why she responded with anger. He gave her presents. He defended her when her dad and I accused her of childish felonies. He forgave her. Although she spurned his offerings, he seemed to think if he only found the right combo, it would be OK.

Now they get into the car and rag on each other continously-but the general dynamic is so different I sometimes can't believe they are the same kids. Oh yes, they do annoy one another-and occasionally the adults who are rearing them. Sian teases him-but like she thinks that's her duty as a big sister.

Last night, as I drove them home, Sian insulted Colin and he hit her on the shoulder. Naturally, she shrieked-then explained that she just happened to be a little bruised because he had smacked the shoulder that a school friend had hit her on. "Ok" he said seriously. "I'll hit you somewhere else next time."

Talk about brotherly love.