I've been thinking about a little boy, one of Mr. C's classmates. Frankly, I think this little guy needs help-he seems to have poor impulse control, and a mouth that gets him into hot water.
I can't figure out why his mom doesn't seem to think he needs some clinical assessment, and the family some support. They are devout Christians of the more conservative kind-and perhaps they think that this can be solved through prayer and setting a good example. I wish they were correct-perhaps they are. But I'm a bit edgy around him-and worry that as time goes by, things will only get worse.
As long as he doesn't harm Colin, though-what business is it of mine? Why should I be critical of her choices (notice, I don't criticize the dad)? I ponder talking to her, as have a few other mothers, and then I think-no, she would get defensive, and nothing would come of it. But I still judge her for her perceived distaste for the road I would choose.
Recently I've read a few essays that have forced me to reflect on how hard we mothers can be on each other- and on ourselves. We are constantly comparing-stay at home moms think they are better than moms who work outside the home. Moms who work outside the home think they are more intelligent. Breast-feeding moms can become La Leche Nazis and moms who exercise look down on moms who don't.
I've seen lots of families where a little more attention, from both mom and dad, can make a big difference in how children do when they are away from their parents. But I've also seen mothers who deny they have a self that needs relaxation and hours away from their children now and then-and channel their exhaustion into anger at their spouses...or other women.
Why do we have this need to prove ourselves in comparison to other women? Why can't we find better ways to vent our aggression? Why can't we allow for the idea that most parents are doing the best they can...and try to help them, rather than cut them down?
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