Giving Hags a bad name

Have you ever wondered whether Rosie O'Donnell and Ann Coulter were separated at birth?

"Commentator"Ann is a tall Storm-trooper blonde most happy when she is mucking around with fascism or spewing anti-gay rhetoric. Who cares whether she is really a bigot, trying to get the troops all excited, or crazed about publicity? The effect is the same, Fuhrette.

The only mystery is why she went off on Presidential candidate John Edwards as opposed to slamming Senator Barack Obama for being a press darling. Why not score even larger headlines with racist verbiage directed at America's current sweetheart?

Could it be because Edwards is more of a man than Ann will ever be?

In the opposite corner, there is the charming Ms. O'Donnell. Built like a soapbox, Rosie is shorter than Ann. A woman with a huge mouth and a real mean streak, she is an instinctive supporter of all causes left-wing.

Unlike John Edwards, Rosie really is gay. But you don't see Ann taking her on-she knows Rosie could stomp all over her.

I have no idea what Ann's sexual preferences are. But she would be great as the dominatrix of a medieval torture chamber.

Both obnoxiously pander to their cliques on the right and the left. Both are narcissistic products of the DC/Hollywood publicity machine. Both are famous for little more than having mouths like sewers and the impulse control of a viper.

The only mystery is why we watchers and readers, particularly the female ones, continue to support women who continually drag down the quality of our communal life and bring out the worst in us (me included, obviously).

When you figure it out, let us know. I'm clueless.

One solution: lock them in a room with American Idol's Simon Cowell for a week. It's more than likely that after a few days someone venturing in would find nothing but a few locks of dyed blond hair...and three large sets of teeth.