Workplace, kitchen, bedroom

Recently I spoke to a business acquaintance about the behavior of someone we both know. A fly on the wall (if flies talked) would say that we were gossiping! She wanted to vent, and I had been close enough to the "third party" to be able to listen and, hopefully, empathize. Our mutual acquaintance has a habit of forming inappropriate relationships. Not blatantly sexual ones, but ones that crossed boundaries that ought not to be crossed. Having had a few of those myself, I could talk fluently about them for hours. But could I avoid one if it (read: he) was smart, handsome, and interested in some of the ideas and people that attract me? Hmm...I hope so, at this point. In fact, I have openly talked, in general terms, about my mistakes when counseling others and haven't ventured into anyone elses turf recently. But it's only due to dumb luck and God's grace that I didn't end up in much bigger trouble.

In love, in families, and in the workplace, we seem to move from anger to denial, from fusion to avoidance-somehow that healthy interdependence and independence seem to elude us.

And, at the root of this problem is probably a man or a woman's lack of bravery about appropriately confronting a problem he or she has with a spouse or a partner, a sibling or someone at work. Or it may be too painful.

It puzzles me that even the sharpest tools in the shed can do such damage to themselves, and potentially to others. Why do we avoid confrontation and hopefully reconciliation with the people who are so close to us? Why do we seek out others to meet those needs before putting appropriate closure on a previous relationship? This is certainly as true as much in the workplace, an organic system, as it is in the kitchen or the bedroom.

The only good thing? We are keeping a lot of therapists and organizational development professionals in business!